Patience and More patience....

Since November of last year I have been looking for a job. Circumstances, and in my opinion a bit of maliciousness, led me to losing my job of 3 years. I've went on countless interviews, took a class at the community college, and submitted my resume to hundreds of businesses.  It seems I get right to the job and something always happens. The position becomes obselete, they chose the other candidate, the contract for the job is lost, it will be another week (that week never comes). I'm starting to wonder exactly what the problem is. Is it me? What flaw of mine is holding me back so much? Is karma shelling out its wrath? Then I'm grounded by my faith, knowing that if I allow the devil to control my thinking I'll never get anywhere. Oh, what a challenge this is. But, I know its not me, in a recovering economy even available jobs are affected by the fluctuation of the market. Still, I know there are countless others that have been unemployed for years. I can NOT handle that.... I want to work, I'm prepared to go to work tomorrow morning should the oppurtunity arrise. I'm so tired of being at home. I'm not stay at home wife material. I like making money and contributing to the goals of my family. Not to say I don't enjoy cooking for my husband and son. I do. But, I find myself feeling boxed in, with the crunch in finances and Heaven knows gas prices. Its hard to justify going for a "ride". Or to just go window shop. So, I'm here at home. Today was a productive day, I mopped all the floors, cleaned out the laundry room, found more stuff for the yard sale. I feel better on days like this when I can see results. Which is all I'm seeking. Results. I had a wonderful interview last Thursday, was told I have the position they just have to go through the motions. Then get an email this morning the jobs on hold. WHAT? AGAIN? NO! ^$&#**%^#  =( I have to stay positive. I have to keep my chin up. I have to believe that this is it. But, what if.... See...its so easy to 2nd guess and give into the duldrums. Boo. I just wanna go to work. Period. (And at a job thats worth my time and money). I am so sick of being a statistic of unemployment. When I KNOW I'm worthy of such a blessing. For now, I'm thankful that Chris has his new job, (which he got in like a weeks time...yes, really). And my house smells fresh and clean. I have a husband that loves me, and we've been through worse. So add me to your prayers, ask the Lord to shine on me, to lead me, and place me where he wants me to be. (I have a hard time beleiving he wants me to be stuck in this house forever).