Wednesday, August 28, 2013

She's back!

Hey y'all!

I know its been forever. I really thought I had created another blog. But I can't find it anywhere.

So.

I decided to revamp this one and take it in stride.
(Non-disclosure statement of sorts)
***I have no desire or intention to use this to bash my ex-husband. However, I'm sure in laying some ground work it is bound to happen. I apologize now for that. But, let it be known there are no hard feelings, matter of fact. :tilts head: There are no feelings at all attached to the former. Understood? Great. Let's move on to the fun stuff.***

WOW so its been a long time since I last shared. So I'm going to touch on some hi-lites and revisit the past in a timeline format. K??? ;-)

In July of 2012 I made the decision to leave my husband. Because of circumstances beyond my control. I can forgive someone once for a mistake. Twice IS A CHOICE. Especially, when there is *seemingly* a common goal between the two of you. Sometimes people lose sight of their goals because they are too weak to admit they can't. Or they are too selfish to think beyond themselves. Sometimes things just don't work. You can not make wrong right. Nor can you trust someone when they shatter it...again.

I have never been so scared in my life. Where do I go? What do I say to people? What about my precious Christian? What about my job? What about me? Imagine these questions in a vortex swirling up the fragments of your broken heart and exhausted mind! In true Southern girl fashion..... I went to my MOMA. I spent 3 days in full blown hermit stage, in my old sweats,kleenex box in the bed, covers over my head. Then like a scene out of  a really good chick flick I got mad. I'm talking Angela Bassett (Waiting to Exhale) MAD!
I have never tapped into that inner "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" part of myself. But, I tell ya what. I didn't take it out on Chris. I mean why should I give him the satisfaction. NO. I got my ass out of that bed. Did my hair and make-up, looked myself in the eyes and said. I WILL NOT LET THIS BREAK ME.
NOT ME. NOT NOW. NOT EVER.

So begins the next phase.

I am fortunate to have amazing friends all over the USA. I contacted an old friend/ex. Not with romantic intent. Please lets not go there.  Simply this man knows ME. And we had a long history of saving each other from ourselves since our twenties. So, the decision was made. I was going to South Dakota to rebuild myself. ROAD TRIP!!!!!! YAYYYY!!! I was so so so so excited. Yes this is what I needed! Nothing says "I'm done", like moving 1700 miles across the country. Right? Little did  I know I would change more than just my address. My entire being was about to be transformed. Physically, Mentally, Spiritually. Everything put into perspective. Everything. Praise the Lord. It is Him that set me free.

Things I experienced on the road:
1.Closure
2.Resolve
3.Sensory Overload
4.Emotional Outburst of the 3rd Kind
5.Pet Bonding Level: EXPERT
6.Public Restroom Phobia vs. No choice
7.IOWA
8.Pet friendly hotels ??? Anyone?
9.For the love of ICED COFFEE
10.Nobody knows it but me

It is my full intention to do a break 0ut explaining all of these. Some very serious. Others just for fun!

As this trip began my journey to new awareness of self. I really don't want to focus on 2011-12. We can just chalk that up to a hard lesson learned. So help me stay on track guys I know you want to hear about my journey. And I really want to share. :-) Summer 2012 to Summer 2013 has been an amazing year. With ups, downs, a few U-turns but ultimately a beautiful ride.