Alot can be said for a 30-something year old woman setting out on the road alone. For a 1700 mile drive. With a cat.
As I said in my previous entry the emotionally draining part of all this, was accepting what had happened. Also, not having a CLUE as to what was supposed to happen next. And ultimately, making a move across country.
There were things to get in order, such as a tune up on the car, new brakes, oil change etc. Mundane everyday things. I found myself so numb. Emotionless when it came to "normal". Auto-Pilot? Maybe. I was so wrapped up inside myself, and maintaining my composure it all became a blur. I am not anti-gun by any means. But, I don't own one. So, I purchased some pepper-spray and my best friend (bless her) gave me a hammer to stow beside my seat. Really?? A hammer?? Well, her intentions were beautiful. I love my Hammer...his name is Thor. :) Next packing my car, I have a lot of clothes,shoes, purses, keepsakes, notebooks, photos, etc. You see where this is going. Somehow, I got it all in there. Actually, thanks to my bestie and my Mom. We military rolled and compacted. WE MADE IT HAPPEN. Then there was my sweet cat Nimbus. Ok he's not that sweet, he's a male Manx. He is spoiled. He owns my heart. I insisted that he have a proper bathroom for this trip. Therefore the entire passenger side was his. No, exceptions. The floorboard became the "restroom" his little covered potty fit perfectly. His crate (luxury size) was in the seat. I even bought one of those sunshades people use for their kids. So he could see out but not be hot, or heaven forbid get sunburnt. ;-) He had a plush blanket and his favorite toy (although he didn't even play with it). I was determined my handsome man would at the very least be comfortable. He was my companion over countless miles, he deserved to ride in style.
The morning I was set to leave, I kissed my teary-eyed Moma and promised to call. A LOT. Meaning every 100 miles in her book. My mother may be bat-poo crazy. But, I love her with all the love a daughter should. My mother has never stood in my way. She's given advice, she's also chewed my butt out. All in all, she's always encouraged me to follow my heart, my whims, my dreams. Letting me find my own way, trusting that I would make good decisions and stay strong. I thank her often for planting those seeds in my life. Because, of her I was able to stand up for myself, not be a doormat, and chase a new dream....Even if I wasn't sure how anymore.
The Open Road :
I wish I could say that I remember every moment. I must admit that the first "leg" of my trip is a blur. I remember Asheville and thinking I could just live there forever. I love that city. I remember crying as I crossed the state line into Tennesee, and thinking to myself "This is really happening." I can't explain the feeling of being so sad and so excited at the same time. I mean who gets to do this kinda thing??? Well, recently seperated women in their thirties get to.... ::sigh::
I've never been one to listen to country music, my genre has a huge spectrum from Classical to Grunge Metal. There was a memory attached to country music of my first love and I never really wanted to revisit it. I kept all of his memories (God rest him) seperate from every part of my life. But, there's something to be said about emotional Holocaust. You feel everything you've ever kept inside. Again.
So around GORGEOUS Knoxville I had the urge to listen. Why not make this trip an experience in music, emotion, beautiful scenery and coffee (lol)? What rule book states that I must be a hot mess? If I'm going to be alone in my car for 3 days, I'm going to do some soul searching, heart mending, let the emos roll self therapy!!! I stopped at K-ville S-bucks and had a Tall Mocha Latte' the biggest sin in my life!!! Downloaded every old 80's-90's country song I could think of and set out for Nashville. Pretending I could actually play guitar... and well at least I CAN sing. Chasing a dream of being the next Dolly Parton or Shania Twain. My singer name was Jacqueline Jones. Cause it sounded elegant and common. It was so much fun to just live in that moment. Sing those old songs, cry when they made me sad, press the gas when I was feeling free, and just be myself. Being carefree and not thinking of my yesterdays or tomorrow. Just that day. The state of Tennesee is absolutely gorgeous. Rolling highways, the Great Smokies, and really clean bathrooms!!! Chattanooga is a fun name to say. I mean this state has it all. I decided I will retire to Tennesee, Gatlinburg if possible. The miles stretched on and I felt safe, enjoying myself for the most part.I'm going to sound so Forrest Gump right now. But, when I got hungry. I ate. When I got tired. I stopped. When I got bored. I sang. Trully Day 1 was so much fun!!! I reached Kentucky by nightfall and sang Blue Moon of Kentucky keep on shining... These moments may sound cheesy but I was having the time of my life!!!
*Nimbus Log - My feline casanova, slept. Drank water, mewled at me a few times. Got that dreamy prince look on his face when I sang. He did really good.
My next entry will be about nightfall in Kentucky and Illinois, finding a pet friendly hotel, and Nimbus at the hotel. (Really can't wait to tell his story.)